Friday, 15 July 2011

Remembering Aric

Very rarely someone incredible comes into your life and somehow becomes a part of you. Many years ago I met a man who became a friend and brother. Next month will mark 7 years since we said goodbye to him. He passed away suddenly at the age of 32. Aric was and still is one of the most important people in my life. We named our son after him. We hope that he will become his unique self but also hope he will develop some of the qualities that Aric embodied.
Aric would phone for Dave and would end up talking to me for an hour before I passed the phone over. At over 6 1/2 feet tall I caught a glimpse of him hugging me in a mirrored window as he and Dave dropped me off for a conference. It still makes me smile. I always felt like a little kid when he did that and since he was well over a foot taller than me I looked like it too.
One of the qualities that I admired most in Aric was integrity, and this is where he has had the strongest affect on my life. Aric lived according to his own conscience. Recently, I have had a personal conflict in my life and I would have given just about anything for one last visit with Aric. He would never tell someone what to do. I made the choice to live in integrity even though some of the people closest to me strongly disagree with what I have done.
I love how he saw past all pretence and tradition and just lived an authentic and practical life. I love how he chose to love a woman with character and substance. I love how he was truthful in all things. He did things because he believed in them and because it fit with his values. He believed in justice and equality for all and was intelligent and well read. He was genuine, true and saw things for what they were. He is a person I aspire to be like.
Here are some words from his journal that say more or less what he stood for:

RUMINATIONS, 1997:
Get over it
The past is gone -
Choose your baggage carefully!
Don't be trapped by
- Convention
- Tradition
- Dependence
- Dogma

I wish I could talk to him just one more time. And maybe take him for a drive.

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6 comments:

  1. Amanda16 July 2011 at 12:46

    I love your thoughts on this Kathleen! Great article to read, very moving :)

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  2. Stacey16 July 2011 at 16:41

    Was Aric at your wedding? I think so... sounds like a great guy and must have been a hard time when you lost him. Good for you to live your own truth - it's not always the easiest road:)

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  3. Marianne16 July 2011 at 16:53

    I remember Aleta talking very highly of Aric too. He sounds like he was one swell guy that left more than a good impression on many

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  4. Kimber17 July 2011 at 11:19

    It is hard to believe that 7 years has passed since Aric left us. Aleta will be gone 3 years on July 25th...it is all so painful to think about. They were two very special people who meant a great deal to us and who will be forever missed. Thank you for remembering him for us and to us.

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  5. Kathleen5 August 2011 at 13:05

    Aric was amazing. I miss him a lot. His birthday was on the 13th and I will be celebrating his life.

    Aleta too was a great woman. I didn't know her as well but still loved her too.

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  6. Kathleen5 August 2011 at 13:06

    Stacey, Aric was at our wedding. He was your walking down the aisle partner I think.

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